I have 6 very close friends in the UK, all non-Muslims. All are not bothered that I am a Muslim. They see me as Nichola. That's that. I value them like precious jewels. They will always be a part of my life inshALLAH. Good friends are hard to find after all.
When I came to Egypt it was a struggle to meet women who really wanted the best for me. I had one very good friend and I used to visit her often and these days were wonderful days. Slowly I was meeting others though and looking back I realize that somehow they took me on a downward spiral.
Of course our friends shouldn't be exactly the same as us, but they should be similar to us. They should think similar, they should help each other when the other one is going through a bad time, they should help each other increase their faith and they should correct each other when they feel one is going down the wrong route.
I had experiences with some girls, who, looking back now, led me to the hardest part of my life. These particular girls were fascinated with my previous life, not because I reverted but what I did before. At the time I misunderstood but looking back I can see they loved the old life more than the fact that I had reverted and the more I was around them, the more I longed for that life back. I just didn't see it at the time though. I just thought I am doing fine.
It was after one particular incident happened that I realized that I need to get away from the people who are trying to pull me back and I need to surround myself with religious girls, or at least girls who are trying to be religious like me. Not girls who are trying to go to the Western way of living.
ALLAH sent me a wonderful friend who I just love and admire so much. We hit it off straight away. She was a revert and whats more she came from France so she had it ten times harder than I had. We helped each other but she was the one who guided me and got me through so many dark days and kept me sane. She also got me reading more about Islam, which in turn made me accept how I am supposed to behave as a Muslim woman and not mix or confuse with being a Westerner. This was a huge turning point in my life. Once I had managed to do that, I felt content and happy. This girl had saved me from drowning, whilst the others were quite happy for me to drown.
The importance of good friends to a revert in particular, is essential. It is so easy to get mixed up with the wrong girls and then get swept back to your old life and start longing for it again, and start questioning, what have I done? When you meet good friends, with religion, or those that really try with their religion and have good values and morals, they are to be held on to with all your might. This is why "born Muslims" can play a huge part in a reverts life. They can embrace her, guide her, help her, encourage her, give her support, give her love and give her care. They can make her really feel great because their love and care is pure.
Don't get me wrong, no one is perfect. But at least when you meet really good, decent girls, you can really grow as a Muslim and as a woman. As reverts we need these girls to come and help us and save us from those, who just want us to be how we were.
I am blessed now, I have friends I have met in Egypt, who I know will be my friends for life alhamdullah. I hope to meet and get to know better some I am already acquainted with but not really sat with yet. You can't be friends with everyone, you won't hit it off with everyone, but you can try.
When you are drowning in the ocean, bad friends will pull you under, good friend will pull you out and I am eternally grateful for the wonderful friends I now have in my life and thank ALLAH everyday for this wonderful blessing.
This of course applies to born Muslims as well as reverts but I am trying to show how important it is from a reverts point of view. We have changed our life and we are walking into the unknown so we need people around us who can make the unknown, known, not people who will push us back to the life we have just walked away from.
Good friends are hard to find, and they are worth their weight in gold. This has been a hard lesson for me, but one that I have really learnt from and one that I am glad I had to go through, despite the hard times I suffered, just to understand the importance and beauty of these good friends.
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