I think it is a major decision for the majority of us who wear it because Shaytan will come to us and make us feel we look older or less attractive with it on and it can make us second guess our selves. On the other hand there are sisters who cannot wait to wear it but may have other factors stopping them, their family, their friends or their environment.
For my first year it did not enter my head to wear Hijab. I just went about as normal and wore it only for praying. When I was preparing for my marriage one of my friends in London (non-Muslim) bought me a beautiful cream scarf and told me this is for your wedding. I felt quite shocked. Here I am, converted and I had not even thought about covering my hair, and there she was, a non-Muslim, who had thought about me covering my hair! SubhanALLAH.
Anyway my wedding arrived and I wore my scarf, not correctly as I wasn't entirely sure how to wear it, so some hair was showing, but I wanted to wear it in the mosque and because my friend had bought it for me especially for that reason. I was very happy that day and I wore it and I was comfortable and content. The next day I didn't wear Hijab and I felt odd. I also felt a bit hypocritical. The next day I made my decision to wear it. I felt better with it on. It was almost as if it was my shield. I felt safe.
I was convinced with Hijab, otherwise I wouldn't have wore it but I think Shaytan came to me with the thoughts I have mentioned above. You will cover your hair, you won't be able to do your hair nice any more. You will look older than you are etc... Slowly though, I came to the realization that this is the point. We are not supposed to look attractive to the outside world. Our look without the veil should be for our husbands eyes. Not for every man on the street. When we do our hair pretty it should be for our husbands not for the men on the streets. It takes some getting used to. It is also something quite hard to swallow as a Westerner as well that we are doing something like this. But it is for ALLAH at the end and it is what is asked of us in the Qu'ran.
If you look at yourself with your hair around your face and it is looking nice and beautiful and then put on hijab and look at yourself you can immediately see why it has been instructed that we wear hijab. The hair makes the face more attractive and beautiful than without. Also when you have beautiful hair, lets face it, many sisters do, it is something that all men are going to admire, which will then lead them to envisage you in ways that they shouldn't be.
Hijab makes a woman beautiful. It hides her beauty but at the same time shows her beauty. Ask many men and they will say, my wife looks beautiful with the hijab. It is a sign of modesty. She is hiding her best features from anyone else other than those who are allowed to see her. For him, this is beautiful.
It took me a while to understand that hijab was not just about the veil. It is also about the clothes. So step by step I changed the clothes, though it didn't happen over night. It was hard. For me, this was harder than putting on hijab. First of all I started wearing long sleeves (before hijab) so that my arms were covered and I wore long skirts and trousers. They weren't always appropriate as they were tight but step by step. Once veiled, the next thing was socks. It may sound a bit odd, but I started covering my feet because for many men, feet are very attractive. Then I slowly started to wear wider clothes, longer tops with trousers and not so tight. Eventually, almost 6 years in, I decided abaya and maxi A-line dresses were the way to go. I like how I dress now. It has taken me a while to reach this point and many arguments with my husband as to whether the clothes are tight or not, but I have reached the point now where I am happy and I know my clothes are appropriate. I also have my fashion adviser on hand, one of my closest friends, so that we can tell each other if our stuff is a bit tight or not and get tips from the other one.
Hijab is not just the veil, it is the whole package and it takes time to feel comfortable and get right. It takes time to get used to it. But it is our shield and it is our protection. From a Westerner, trust me, I know that many men will look at a woman as a package. Not as what is in her head, her manners or how she thinks. So if you show your body as this beautiful, sexual object that is exactly how a man is going to treat you. As a sexual object. A piece of meat. Nothing more. If you show a man there is more to you than just this wonderful body, you have a brain, you have thoughts on many issues, you are polite etc... he is going to accept you for who you are and the beautiful body part can come later.
Being a revert we have the advantage of seeing the world in different way. We are more exposed if you like. We understand better the minds of some men. We also understand the minds of some women. We have lived it as well. We may have been treated like those pieces of meat. You know a pretty young girl, walks by a bunch of men, and she is wearing tight jeans and a tight top, what do you think the men are thinking? It is not oh wow she is so intelligent. It is going to be oh wow, she is hot! So we should protect ourselves from this and hijab as in the whole style of how we dress is the best form of protection.
So for those sisters who have not yet taken the step of wearing hijab, if you feel in your heart that it is the right thing. You feel in your heart that you are convinced, then take the step. I think you will feel wonderful afterwards. Do not let Shaytan cloud your judgement. It is a wonderful feeling that I am covering myself up from the outside eyes and that those who really matter (the ones instructed by ALLAH) are the only ones who have the right to see me uncovered. That is special. It makes me feel special and it makes me feel valued.
Remember women in Islam are like rich jewels and precious pearls. These rich jewels and precious pearls are expensive only a handful can afford them and only an handful deserve them.
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