By the time I was 18, I wanted freedom. I wanted to let my hair down, as we say in English, I wanted to have fun. I deliberately applied for universities that were away from home. Not too far away so I could still go home everyone once in a while, but far enough away that I could start my own life. I couldn't wait. I was really excited. So I left home at 18 to go to university in Salford near Manchester. I have to say, it was a wonderful time and I have many experiences that I don't regret. The biggest was being able to live and work in Germany for a year. That was wonderful.
I finished my degree in 2002 and I wanted to move down south to be nearer to some friends I had met down there. So I moved to London and started work in London. In 2003 I moved outside London but still worked in London. We worked hard, we played quite hard with very little money that we had left over. I would pay my rent, bills, my loan off from uni, food and my travel expenses and would have very little left. That very little left would go on Friday or Saturday nights. It meant living off the bare essentials just to go out. Sometimes I would have just 20 GBP to live off for the week but would save it just to go out on Friday and Saturday night. This was life for about 3 years.
In 2004 I started working at a company where we used to speak to engineers from Cairo on a regular basis. We were the customer service team, they were the technical support. At first they were just colleagues from another country. I had no interest in them or what they were doing or what they believed in. I never even asked. It was something that just didn't come up. That was until Ramadan 2004. I found an engineer coming to me on the messenger service we had at work saying he will leave soon as it is time to have breakfast. This was late afternoon. So I innocently asked, why on earth are you having breakfast so late?? He then explained it was Ramadan and it was time to break their fast. So of course the questions came, why do you fast, why can't you even drink water, how is that not dangerous? etc... etc... Anyway, after he answered, I thought nothing else of it and just carried on with my life as it was.
I then started speaking to some other engineers and Islam started to come up. I was quite interested but at this time never dreamed it would be for me. I was still enjoying the party life. Anyway, I remember thinking, wow, they are so into what they believe in. It amazed me really because I had never given religion a second thought. I believed in God. That was it. I never went to church, I didn't want to go to church. I think I have been to church about 4 times in my whole life. I love History so I did not believe Jesus was born in December. More than likely he was born in September from an historian point of view. I just didn't buy into it. However, what I did believe was there must be something better than life on Earth after we die, I just didn't know what. I also wasn't convinced Jesus was the Son of God. I remember going to watch the Passion of Christ in Easter 2004, before I started work with my Egyptian colleagues, and telling my mam, I don't think Jesus was the Son of God. She just looked at me and said I don't know.
At work, I was getting quite interested in what my colleagues were telling me. I of course tried to debate from what little I knew about Christianity so it prompted me to go and do a bit of research into what was supposed to be my own religion. I tried to get into it. I just couldn't. Many things didn't add up and I felt if I am supposed to get into a religion, it should be something I feel with my heart. I couldn't quite understand why we celebrated Christmas in December if Jesus was supposed to be born in September. I did realize that the Romans changed this once Jesus had died to coincide with the Pagan festival of "Mid Winter". I then started thinking what about Easter. If Jesus died on a certain day, it would remain the same day every year that has passed, so why does Easter get changed every year. I then realized the Romans changed this as well to coincide with the first new moon and then Easter would be 40 days after that. I found that all a bit bizarre. Why manipulate something and change the facts? I still wasn't this into Islam at this point. I just started to believe that my own religion had many flaws. I continued debating with them. Two things came to mine, 1) why do you oppress your women and make them feel like they have to wear a million clothes and cover their hair and sometimes their face? 2) Why do you keep saying Christians believe in a different God? As far as I am concerned there is only one God. (I didn't realise at this time, that what I had believed was the main foundation of Islam).
I slowly started to become more interested in Islam from the numerous debates and decided I will read a few books. Not to convert but to argue my point ;-). I felt I couldn't possibly be so strict like Muslims are. I wouldn't be able to stop drinking alcohol, not go out, cover myself up from head to toe etc... It just felt alien to me that people can live like that.
So I read, and then read some more, and then read some more. I started to think this religion is far from how the media describe it! The Western Media do tend to make the westerners feel like Islam is a very oppressive religion and that the women have no rights especially after 9/11.
I came across something that would change my life forever. I was reading a book called "A Brief Illustrated Guide To Understanding Islam" by I. A. Ibrahim and in it was an explanation of The Qu'ran on Human Embryonic Development. " We created man from an extract of clay. Then We made him as a drop in a place of settlement, firmly fixed. Then We made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and blood clot), then We made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed substance)"... Qu'ran, 23:12-14. It then shows diagrams of how each part looks. I was astounded! How can this have been known back then when there were no sonars available and from a man who could not read or write?! This changed my life forever. It gave me goosebumps! From this piece, I knew Islam was the right religion. Once I knew it, I was content inside. I asked one of my colleagues in Cairo, what should I do now and I made my shahadah.
It took me some time to adapt and I was alone in London without anyone. I didn't know any Muslims in London. I just had to read and rely on my colleagues in Cairo. One turned out to become my husband.
I look back now at this time and can clearly see the path unfolding, which I didn't see at the time. I even look back to the way I was raised and if I compare to how Muslims raise their children, it is quite similar. We were not encouraged to have boyfriends, we were not allowed to wear revealing clothes, we were not allowed to do whatever we pleased whenever we pleased. We were told to focus on our school to achieve our dreams. So although my parents are not Muslim, some aspects of how they raised us were, but they had no clue nor I.
This is the start of my journey. Next time I will discuss the first two years of being a Muslim and why I nearly converted back.
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