Role Models: Aisha

Aisha was the beloved wife of the Prophet (PBUH) for the last 9 years of his life. Angel Gabriel shown the Prophet a piece of green silk with her picture on and said "she is your wife in this world and the next."

Aisha was the daughter of Abu Bakr. She already had a vast religious knowledge from a very young age. This knowledge grew with time and she became one of the most knowledgeable people in Islam.

She married the Prophet (PBUH) when she was just 9 years old. She would often have her friends round and they would play together. When the Prophet (PBUH) used to be there, she would send them away but he would bring them back. He realized how important it was for her to have her friends there to accompany her.

Aisha had an exceptional memory, she was very knowledgeable and observant. The reason why we know such a lot about the Prophet's life is because of Aisha. She absorbed everything in around her so that even in later life, after the Prophet had passed away, she was able to talk about how he lived his life and share the knowledge she had learned.

Aisha helped to preserve and protect the Sunnah. She embodied it herself and she taught it to everyone around her. She described the Prophet (PBUH) as "the Qu'ran walking", which means that his behaviour was the Qu'ran in action, because of this, she tried her best to follow the same way all of her life. Aisha not only followed the Sunnah but she also learned and recited the whole Qu'ran. She not only recited it but she also fully understood it as well.

When the Prophet went to fight Banu al-Mustaliq, Aisha traveled with him. Aisha was a very delicate, slim woman, so that when she was inside her tent and the men picked it up, they would not know if she was inside or not. She had gone for some privacy, when she dropped her necklace. She retraced her steps in order to find it. When she went back to the camp, she found that the party had moved on. She was a true believer of ALLAH so she was patient because she knew ALLAH would send someone to come and get her. A young man, Safwan Ibn al Mu'attal soon passed by and he took her back to the camp. At this point a lot of people started to gossip that she had been alone with a man. The strain affected the Prophet and his household so much so that Aisha became ill as she sensed he did not care for her like he used too. When she knew about what people had been saying about her, she became even more ill and asked permission to stay with her parents. The Prophet asked her servant if the allegations were true and her servant replied that Aisha is pure as gold. He also asked his wife Zaynab if he believed they were true and she said there is nothing but good that comes from Aisha. The Prophet went to Abu Bakr's house where he found Aisha has been crying non-stop. He told her "If you are innocent then ALLAH himself will protect your honour, and if there was a lapse on your part then repent to ALLAH and he will accept your repentance." Aisha  said to him "If I were to say to you that I was innocent then you would not believe me. If I were to confess to something and ALLAH knows I am innocent you would believe me. By ALLAH I can only say what the father of Yusuf said "Patience is beautiful and ALLAH is my protection against what you describe" (Qu'ran 12:18). With this she turned over and had full trust in ALLAH that he will protect her. It was on this that the Prophet (PBUH) received revelations that Aisha was innocent. Her parents told her to thank the Prophet (PBUH) but she said I will thank ALLAH as it is he who has protected my honour.

Aisha forgave all of the people who slandered against her and would not hear of anything bad against them even later on in life.

One time, the Prophet's wives asked him for more money, which he did not have and this made him very sad. Thus began the month of separation, where he stayed away from his wives for a month. After the month  was over he went to Aisha first. She was very pleased to see him. He told her he had something for her to decide and before she did she should consult her parents. He then recited: O Prophet, say to your wives: ‘If you desire the life of this world and its adornments, then come, and I will make you content, and I will release you with a fair release. But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the next world, then truly Allah has prepared an immense reward for those of you who do good.’ (Quran 33:28-29). She told him that she does not need to consult her parents because of course she will choose ALLAH and his Messenger and the abode of the next world.

Aisha was extremely generous and kind. She was once given 100,000 dirhams, which she immediately gave to the poor. Her maid asked her why didn't she save at least 100 dirhams to have meat as they didn't have any food. Aisha replied that she did not think about it and not to worry. That night meat arrived for them to eat. 

Aisha was one of the four people who have transmitted over two thousand hadiths due to her marriage with the Prophet (PBUH) for she was so close to him, she was able to pass that knowledge on and she did right up until she passed away. 

We learn that Aisha is extremely knowledgeable. She absorbed everything around her, recited Qu'ran until she understood it's meaning as well as knowing the verses. She carried out the sunnah as the Prophet had done so that everyone around her would follow and she taught it as well. The Prophet himself said that people were to learn about the Deen from her. She took Islam very seriously and she was devoted to Islam. 

She was such a devout servant to ALLAH that she did not worry when she was left alone in the desert and even when people slandered against her she knew that ALLAH would protect her despite the hard times it caused. She also choose a simple, hard life with the Prophet in order to get the best life in the next abode rather than give it all up for the richness of this life. 

Aisha was extremely generous and did not think twice about giving her money to the poor. Even when she had nothing herself, she would give to the poor. 

Aisha was an incredibly strong, well-learned, knowledgeable woman. She knew such a lot about the religion and she practiced it as well. 

She shows us the importance of knowledge and learning. It is not enough to just pray and make dua. We must learn about our religion. We must develop a deep understanding of what it means and not just take it at face value. She shows us how we should live our life in a simple non-materialistic way. The most important thing whilst we are on Earth is to strive for Akhira and not dunya. Whilst it can be sometimes hard to keep this in mind, we must try and live like this. She also shows us how we should be so generous and kind to those less fortunate than ourselves even if we do not have much ourselves. 

May ALLAH be pleased with Sayeda Aisha and may we follow her as much as we can so that ALLAH can be pleased with us too.

Role Models - Fatima

Today I shall speak about Fatima and what we can learn from her.

Fatima is one of the 4 greatest women of the universe and she will be the leader of the women in Paradise.

She was such a strong character even from an early age.

When she was 5 years old, our Prophet (PBUH) had become the Messenger of Allah. Her mother, Lady Khadijah, explained to her what her father must do now that he had become the Messenger of Allah. From this moment on, she became extremely close to her father. Once he was prostrating during the prayer and one of the Quraysh threw the entrails of an animal on him. She was so angry, she cleaned it off her father and started shouting at those who threw it. Another time, her father was being beaten by the Quraysh, so she screamed and shouted for help. Abu Bakr came along and managed to free the Prophet, whilst getting beaten in the meantime.

When her mother died, Fatima was grief stricken and remained so for a very long time. People thought she would die from grief. Fatima, however, realized that she had an even bigger responsibility to her father now her mother had passed. She devoted herself to him, loving him, caring for him and looking after him.

Sometimes it was all too much for her because she was seeing her father suffer with the people of Quraysh. He would tell her not to worry because Allah would look after them.

Fatima had wonderful manners and she could speak eloquently. She often moved people to tears with her speeches because she would say them with so much sincerity. She was very kind to the poor and would often give them food even though she, herself, would go hungry. She inherited her looks and her mannerisms from her father.

She was a tower figure in her community. She would look after the poor, she would go with the other women to the battlefield and cry over the martyrs as well as dress the wounds of her father. She helped prepare food with the other women when they experienced the difficult siege. She would also lead the women in prayer.

When the Prophet (PBUH) knew he was going to pass, Fatima was extremely sad. He told her he was going to meet his Lord and she wept. He then told her she would be the first in his household to join him, this made her smile. Five months after her father passed, she passed too.

We can learn so much from Fatima. She had a strong character and she was devoted to her parents, especially the Prophet (PBUH).

From an early age she would walk with him everywhere and because of this she witnessed many bad things that happened to him. Instead of playing like children her age, she was defending her father.

She devoted her life to looking after him and loving him and caring for him. Even after she was married, he was always in her thoughts. She really teaches us how we should take care of our parents and how we should care for them and love them and be devoted to them even after we are married. The bond between parents and children should always remain strong. She loved her father so much and in return he did her.

She had exceptional manners and behaviour that we should all learn from. She gave to the poor even when, she, herself didn't have much. She saw that there were people always worse off than she was.

She had such a big heart and was very sensitive. She was not cold at all and she loved her sisters very dearly. She was so sad when they passed away.

Fatima shows us how to be human and show our emotions without being over the top. She shows us how we should use our hearts and be warm and loving.

Fatima is the perfect role model for us to follow as she was devoted to her family, especially her father, she was warm and loving, she spoke with sincerity, she was always extremely kind to the poor and she had exceptional manners. We must try and apply ourselves to be like Fatima as much as we can, as she was such a wonderful woman and inshALLAH she will lead us into Paradise.

Role Models

As a Muslim I looked for role models in life. It is important we can look up to great, strong women so we can follow their example.

In my next few blogs, I will talk about my favourite women in Islam and why.

Sayeda Khadija (may ALLAH be pleased with her) for me has to be my favourite. Imagine how strong she was?

1) She was married to a man 15 years younger than herself. Age is such a big issue in our society. I am not really sure if it was back then, but if a woman marries a man 15 years younger than her, she is strong because most women are quite snobbish when it comes to age. I find this attitude quite alarming because if a man is a good man, and he is decent and can offer you what you want spiritually and mentally then why reject? She saw Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) as a good, decent, honest man and she made a life with him. Also he was not phased that she was 15 years older than him. I think this is a lesson we should all really take into our hearts.

2) When he came to her with the revelations and told her what he had seen and heard, she stood by her man. She didn't laugh at him. She didn't tell him he was crazy. She didn't run away from him, she stood by him and what he was saying. In today's society, how many women would actually do that if their husband came home and told her something that was totally unrealistic? Lets face it, it would have been unrealistic for her to believe at that time because there was nothing like that that had happened before in her life time at least. She didn't do any of those things those. She stood by her man and she respected him and she was the first one to convert. Not only does that show the great love she had for him but also a great respect and understanding. How many of us truly respect our husbands and understand them. Even if something is really hard to understand, how many of us try?

3) She helped the Prophet (PBUH) when everyone was against him. She gave everything to him, her love and affection, her wealth to help him succeed as well as the religion.

4) She was happy to sacrifice. When he was pushed out of his home with his family, she gave it all up for him. She was happy to give up her comfort for him. When our husbands struggle with something and sometimes we have to make a sacrifice in order for him to manage, how many of us are doing this willingly? How many of us complain at having to make such a sacrifice? But if we look at Sayeda Khadija and what she did for our Prophet (PBUH), not only should we be in awe, but we should also follow her example.

5) She raised his children exceptionally well. Fatma is second behind her mother as one of the four greatest women of the universe. She will be the leader of the women in Paradise. Her mother is the "mother of all believers".

Khadija was an exceptionally strong, caring, loyal and loving woman. Prophet Mohamed nursed her when she was sick and told her she will be the most honoured woman in Paradise. He missed her very much when she passed. In his years of married to Khadija, he never married another woman. He adored her and she him. She is the perfect example of how we should behave towards our husbands.

We should love them, respect them, understand them and be devoted to them. This does not mean we are their slaves. It means we are their wife and are looking after his needs as a man but both needs as a couple. We must all try to understand and respect our husbands that little bit more than we do so now. We may not always see eye to eye with them but we must show them that we love them dearly, that we are prepared to sacrifice for them and that we will stand by them no matter what. We must look to Sayeda Khadija as our role model in how to be the perfect wife.

10 Steps to Help New Muslims

Becoming a Muslim can be a daunting as well as an exhilarating experience. One is very happy with the new direction in life but it is very daunting due to everything a new Muslim has to learn.

To help you to guide her, Sandie and I have compiled a list of 10 easy but useful steps of do's and don'ts to help a new Muslim adjust to life in Islam.

1) Don't be the haram police. In Islam their are topics that scholars agree 100% on, which are haram or halal. However, there are some that are in the grey area, which divide scholars. Some say it is OK others say it is not. It is not your duty to tell a new sister that one of these topics is haram. It is your duty to advise both opinions so that she can make her own mind up by following her heart. You can kindly point out the one you personally choose and say why but do not enforce it on her. If she feels that everything is haram she may revert back.

2) Don't tell a new Muslim her family will go to Hell. This will scare people away and it is almost confirming what the West want the Westerners to believe, which is Islam has no mercy for anyone other than Muslims. We know this is not true. The people of the scriptures, Jewish, Christians and Sabians will be rewarded for their good deeds and it is not up to you what that reward is. If you tell a new Muslim her family will go to Hell, you are creating a barrier, you will scare her and on top of that you will upset her deeply. Don't forget she will still have a very strong attachment to her family as she should have. Anyone who is going to speak bad of them will not be seen in the best of light. Plus you would not like it if someone told you that your family will go to Hell. The truth of the matter is no one knows where anyone is going only ALLAH. What you must do is explain, with delicacy and care the importance of dawah.

3) Don't say "MashALLAH, MashALLAH you are a new Muslim, I love new Muslims" and then leave her alone or expect her to know everything about Islam because she has converted. As much as it would be lovely to have all the knowledge absorbed into us as soon as we say our shahadah, we don't. There are subjects new Muslims will not understand and will need explanation. Do not expect that they will just accept it as well, there maybe some debate. You have to understand that she is coming from another world, where some topics are seen as "strange" or a no-go area so she will need to have a good explanation and probably several debates after that because she will not necessarily accept things the first time she hears it. Just like a born Muslim, many ideas will take time to accept and will often  be rejected at first so have patience and understanding.

4) If a new Muslim comes to you with a question you have no clue about or very limited information on, don't offer her the wrong information or say I don't know and that is that. Guide her to the right person with the correct information. Often new Muslims can be confused with what they are told, as can born Muslims, so it is essential that the correct information is passed on to her.

5) Be friendly and understanding. You need to understand that reverts no longer fit in their old lives and may struggle to fit in their new life so they need guidance, love and support.

6) Practice what you preach. Don't tell a new Muslim she should be doing something and then you don't do it yourself. It sends out the wrong message.

7) Find out if there are good lessons in English and suggest you go along together. Lessons are a very good way to understand and learn more about Islam. Of course you can also suggest some on youtube she can watch as well. I recommend Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, if you want a reference. His lessons are fantastic. They reach out to those who are not fully aware of a topic and he doesn't over complicate things. He also adds humour and he has a great understanding of what people need and want. Imam Shuaib Webb is also good because his lessons are aimed at young people and he is also a revert himself so the way he explains things will really help.

8) Suggest some good books she can read for self-study. I was given a pile of books when I came to Egypt on Islam, the concepts of Islam and the biography of Prophet Mohamed (PBUH). Be prepared for questions and if you are not sure then guide her to the correct source who can help.

9) Don't always talk about religion. Make a new Muslim feel accepted by inviting her for dinner or for a day out shopping or anything. Islam is a way of life. You don't have to be constantly talking about religion but when you are out in the street, she will see how you conduct yourself and she will begin to follow. She will need a break from learning and understanding and need some fun. The best way is to organize a girlie get together and have some fun.

10) The most important advice to give is this: Islam is like a tree, first be sure of the roots and then start with the branches and the leaves. There is no point in debating whether a woman should wear niqab or not, whether music is haram or halal, whether one can have a dog as a pet etc.... because they are not essential to the main roots of Islam. She needs to first understand the roots, then the rest can be dealt with. She doesn't need to be involved in a debate about a pet dog for example when it is not essential to understanding Islam and it's principles. It will confuse her and may actually scare her off. There was a story of two young people in America who were interested in Islam, they went to talk to someone about Islam and were on the verge of accepting Islam. The topic of a pet dog came up, the Muslim started to become a bit aggressive and shout it is haram to have a dog. The couple decided not to revert. The way you conduct yourself when speaking to new reverts or people thinking about Islam

will have a big impact on them. This is why the small things should be made a big deal of and the haram police should stay at home. Take care with how you explain things and be certain you are passing on the correct information because how you handle a subject can impact that person's life forever.

These points are things that we have had first hand experience in as new Muslims. We know and understand how hard it can be to talk to new Muslims but these 10 steps are aimed to making it a bit easier inshALLAH.

The Importance of Good Friends

I have been burnt the most by people I thought were friends. I am not talking about non-Muslims either. I am talking about Muslims. 

I have 6 very close friends in the UK, all non-Muslims. All are not bothered that I am a Muslim. They see me as Nichola. That's that. I value them like precious jewels. They will always be a part of my life inshALLAH. Good friends are hard to find after all.

When I came to Egypt it was a struggle to meet women who really wanted the best for me. I had one very good friend and I used to visit her often and these days were wonderful days. Slowly I was meeting others though and looking back I realize that somehow they took me on a downward spiral. 

Of course our friends shouldn't be exactly the same as us, but they should be similar to us. They should think similar, they should help each other when the other one is going through a bad time, they should help each other increase their faith and they should correct each other when they feel one is going down the wrong route. 

I had experiences with some girls, who, looking back now, led me to the hardest part of my life. These particular girls were fascinated with my previous life, not because I reverted but what I did before. At the time I misunderstood but looking back I can see they loved the old life more than the fact that I had reverted and the more I was around them, the more I longed for that life back. I just didn't see it at the time though. I just thought I am doing fine. 

It was after one particular incident happened that I realized that I need to get away from the people who are trying to pull me back and I need to surround myself with religious girls, or at least girls who are trying to be religious like me. Not girls who are trying to go to the Western way of living. 

ALLAH sent me a wonderful friend who I just love and admire so much. We hit it off straight away. She was a revert and whats more she came from France so she had it ten times harder than I had. We helped each other but she was the one who guided me and got me through so many dark days and kept me sane. She also got me reading more about Islam, which in turn made me accept how I am supposed to behave as a Muslim woman and not mix or confuse with being a Westerner. This was a huge turning point in my life. Once I had managed to do that, I felt content and happy. This girl had saved me from drowning, whilst the others were quite happy for me to drown. 

The importance of good friends to a revert in particular, is essential. It is so easy to get mixed up with the wrong girls and then get swept back to your old life and start longing for it again, and start questioning, what have I done? When you meet good friends, with religion, or those that really try with their religion and have good values and morals, they are to be held on to with all your might. This is why "born Muslims" can play a huge part in a reverts life. They can embrace her, guide her, help her, encourage her, give her support, give her love and give her care. They can make her really feel great because their love and care is pure. 

Don't get me wrong, no one is perfect. But at least when you meet really good, decent girls, you can really grow as a Muslim and as a woman. As reverts we need these girls to come and help us and save us from those, who just want us to be how we were. 

I am blessed now, I have friends I have met in Egypt, who I know will be my friends for life alhamdullah. I hope to meet and get to know better some I am already acquainted with but not really sat with yet. You can't be friends with everyone, you won't hit it off with everyone, but you can try.

When you are drowning in the ocean, bad friends will pull you under, good friend will pull you out and I am eternally grateful for the wonderful friends I now have in my life and thank ALLAH everyday for this wonderful blessing. 

This of course applies to born Muslims as well as reverts but I am trying to show how important it is from a reverts point of view. We have changed our life and we are walking into the unknown so we need people around us who can make the unknown, known, not people who will push us back to the life we have just walked away from. 

Good friends are hard to find, and they are worth their weight in gold. This has been a hard lesson for me, but one that I have really learnt from and one that I am glad I had to go through, despite the hard times I suffered, just to understand the importance and beauty of these good friends. 

Deciding To Wear Hijab

As all Muslim women will know there comes a time when Hijab is mentioned and whether we shall wear it or not.

I think it is a major decision for the majority of us who wear it because Shaytan will come to us and make us feel we look older or less attractive with it on and it can make us second guess our selves. On the other hand there are sisters who cannot wait to wear it but may have other factors stopping them, their family, their friends or their environment.

For my first year it did not enter my head to wear Hijab. I just went about as normal and wore it only for praying. When I was preparing for my marriage one of my friends in London (non-Muslim) bought me a beautiful cream scarf and told me this is for your wedding. I felt quite shocked. Here I am, converted and I had not even thought about covering my hair, and there she was, a non-Muslim, who had thought about me covering my hair! SubhanALLAH.

Anyway my wedding arrived and I wore my scarf, not correctly as I wasn't entirely sure how to wear it, so some hair was showing, but I wanted to wear it in the mosque and because my friend had bought it for me especially for that reason. I was very happy that day and I wore it and I was comfortable and content. The next day I didn't wear Hijab and I felt odd. I also felt a bit hypocritical. The next day I made my decision to wear it. I felt better with it on. It was almost as if it was my shield. I felt safe.

I was convinced with Hijab, otherwise I wouldn't have wore it but I think Shaytan came to me with the thoughts I have mentioned above. You will cover your hair, you won't be able to do your hair nice any more. You will look older than you are etc... Slowly though, I came to the realization that this is the point. We are not supposed to look attractive to the outside world. Our look without the veil should be for our husbands eyes. Not for every man on the street. When we do our hair pretty it should be for our husbands not for the men on the streets. It takes some getting used to. It is also something quite hard to swallow as a Westerner as well that we are doing something like this. But it is for ALLAH at the end and it is what is asked of us in the Qu'ran.

If you look at yourself with your hair around your face and it is looking nice and beautiful and then put on hijab and look at yourself you can immediately see why it has been instructed that we wear hijab. The hair makes the face more attractive and beautiful than without. Also when you have beautiful hair, lets face it, many sisters do, it is something that all men are going to admire, which will then lead them to envisage you in ways that they shouldn't be.

Hijab makes a woman beautiful. It hides her beauty but at the same time shows her beauty. Ask many men and they will say, my wife looks beautiful with the hijab. It is a sign of modesty. She is hiding her best features from anyone else other than those who are allowed to see her. For him, this is beautiful.

It took me a while to understand that hijab was not just about the veil. It is also about the clothes. So step by step I changed the clothes, though it didn't happen over night. It was hard. For me, this was harder than putting on hijab. First of all I started wearing long sleeves (before hijab) so that my arms were covered and I wore long skirts and trousers. They weren't always appropriate as they were tight but step by step. Once veiled, the next thing was socks. It may sound a bit odd, but I started covering my feet because for many men, feet are very attractive. Then I slowly started to wear wider clothes, longer tops with trousers and not so tight. Eventually, almost 6 years in, I decided abaya and maxi A-line dresses were the way to go. I like how I dress now. It has taken me a while to reach this point and many arguments with my husband as to whether the clothes are tight or not, but I have reached the point now where I am happy and I know my clothes are appropriate. I also have my fashion adviser on hand, one of my closest friends, so that we can tell each other if our stuff is a bit tight or not and get tips from the other one.

Hijab is not just the veil, it is the whole package and it takes time to feel comfortable and get right. It takes time to get used to it. But it is our shield and it is our protection. From a Westerner, trust me, I know that many men will look at a woman as a package. Not as what is in her head, her manners or how she thinks. So if you show your body as this beautiful, sexual object that is exactly how a man is going to treat you. As a sexual object. A piece of meat. Nothing more. If you show a man there is more to you than just this wonderful body, you have a brain, you have thoughts on many issues, you are polite etc... he is going to accept you for who you are and the beautiful body part can come later.

Being a revert we have the advantage of seeing the world in different way. We are more exposed if you like. We understand better the minds of some men. We also understand the minds of some women. We have lived it as well. We may have been treated like those pieces of meat. You know a pretty young girl, walks by a bunch of men, and she is wearing tight jeans and a tight top, what do you think the men are thinking? It is not oh wow she is so intelligent. It is going to be oh wow, she is hot! So we should protect ourselves from this and hijab as in the whole style of how we dress is the best form of protection.

So for those sisters who have not yet taken the step of wearing hijab, if you feel in your heart that it is the right thing. You feel in your heart that you are convinced, then take the step. I think you will feel wonderful afterwards. Do not let Shaytan cloud your judgement. It is a wonderful feeling that I am covering myself up from the outside eyes and that those who really matter (the ones instructed by ALLAH) are the only ones who have the right to see me uncovered. That is special. It makes me feel special and it makes me feel valued.

Remember women in Islam are like rich jewels and precious pearls. These rich jewels and precious pearls are expensive only a handful can afford them and only an handful deserve them.

The First Two Years

After I converted to Islam, my life didn't really change that much to start with. I stopped eating pork, bacon, sausage and ham. I stopped drinking alcohol. That was the easy part. I faced some big tests over the next two years.

July 7th 2005. London Bombings. I was on my way to work. I forgot my mobile phone. I remember thinking to myself I hope nothing happens today. I have no idea why I thought that. I just did. I got to work. It was quite a normal morning. Then we were told there has been a power cut in the underground stations. We didn't think no more of it. Then the news came. The London underground had been bombed and a bus. After 9/11 most people knew it was inevitable that something would happen in the UK. It was just a question of when. I do not think no one ever expected the devastation of the London underground bombings. I had left my phone at home. I knew my family and friends who didn't know if I used the underground would be panicking as they wouldn't be able to get hold of me. I also knew my sister worked in London and would need to get on one of the lines that was blown up as well as her husband. I called my parents, I am OK, please tell everyone not to worry. I asked them if they knew if my sister was OK. Luckily that day was her day off and her husband had to go in later so missed it all. I was relieved they were safe. Over the next few days as the events started to reveal themselves, I saw that the news said Islamist home grown terrorists had set the bombs off. I didn't know what to think. I thought, have I done the right thing? Have I entered a religion where all people do is blow each other up? Have I entered a religion where there is such a deep hatred for the West that they feel they have to blow up innocent victims? I couldn't get my head round it. Why? I thought Islam was a religion of peace. I didn't think it was one that encouraged men to go and blow up innocent civilians. 52 people were killed that day and over 700 injured. How was that possibly justified? I had to speak to my colleagues in Cairo, one being my husband to be and try and understand what was going off. He explained to me, that this is not Islam and this is not the majority of Muslims. Over the years I have done my own research into the bombing and I am not even convinced any more it was home grown terrorists. I think it was an inside job blamed on Islam just as 9/11 was. But that is another story.

After being convinced that this is not Islam, I carried on reading about Islam. I had a million questions, it all was a bit overwhelming and I just didn't know where to start. I got told a very good piece of advice that I would offer any new revert or anyone thinking of reverting. Islam is like a tree. First of all get to know the routes and then you can start with the branches and leaves. When it is put like that it is easier to start to get your head round Islam. So I started with the 5 pillars. My next step was to learn how to pray and try and pray. Bear in mind I knew no Muslims and the only people I was speaking to was a couple of male colleagues in Cairo. It was very hard. As you girls will know, there are certain things that a woman cannot ask a man. Luckily I was put in touch with a wonderful sister, who still one of dearest friend today and we spoke and I asked her a lot and she really helped with my questions. I taught myself to pray from the internet. I had no role model in London and I was far to shy to go to a mosque. I realized that you had to pray at set times. There was no place to pray at work and I was to worried about people's reaction if I told them I was Muslim so I actually used to pray 4 prayers at home once I finished work. I had no idea that this was not the correct way. I just wanted to try and pray.

My first Ramadan came. I was in London. I was alone. So it was tough. I didn't do it for a lot of days and tried to do it some days. It was a very lonely time for me. Again I questioned myself, have I done the right thing? Luckily my husband to be was on hand to support me once again and guided me. But it was very difficult to be alone and try and do everything I was supposed to do without any proper guidance.

I still hadn't told my family I was a Muslim. I knew my parent's reaction was not going to be a good one. So I kept putting it off and thinking of a way to get round it. My husband to be came to me to propose. My parents weren't best pleased and my sister told them if she marries a Muslim he will make oppress her. He will make her walk behind him in the street. He will hit her if she doesn't do as she is told etc... I have no idea where my sister got these ideas from but it scared my parents and it took a lot to convince them that that was not going to happen. Eventually they came round and they came to Egypt for our wedding. My sister stopped speaking to me for about 5 months because of the marriage. She refused to come. This hurt me a great deal and it made me delay telling them I was a Muslim.

Once married my husband was able to answer a lot more questions I had. I was still alone though. I wasn't working and I didn't know anyone. How was I supposed to make friends, get to know the right people and try and be a good Muslim? It was a very difficult time.

I remember once I was praying in the mosque. This was a time when I still wore clothes that weren't really appropriate. A bit tight and tops a bit short, not covering properly. Anyway, I was praying in the mosque and my top must have rode up and my back was showing. After I finished praying a woman was screaming and shouting for all to hear that what I did was haram! Bear in mind that the men's part was downstairs and there was just a balcony separating. It was not two separate rooms. I was so shocked and humiliated. I rushed out the mosque and once on the street was in tears. My husband asked me what was wrong so I told him a lady was so rude to me shouting. He explained firstly my clothes have to be a bit longer as it shouldn't be that my back was showing but as I didn't know this at this point he told me not to worry too much and try and change it for the better. Secondly, whenever a Muslim sees another Muslim do anything that is not correct, they should speak to them in a quiet manner and away from people so that they are not belittled. He said what this woman did was wrong and it is not how our Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) said we should conduct ourselves. Thank God for my husband, because that would have really put me off going into mosques again and of course made me question what am I doing? Luckily he was on hand to explain and ease my mind.

The biggest trial for me at this time was a lady who asked me to help with her English. I was helping her and I enjoyed it. She was a good person. However, she made one of the biggest errors that anyone can make to a revert. She told me that my family would go to Hell because they are not Muslim. Now, when you are so close to your family and you have made a decision to revert to Islam and you know they have not and probably will not, you do not want to hear that they are going to Hell. This is not a very nice thing to tell anyone. I was very upset. I was very shocked as well. How come ALLAH can send good people to Hell simply because they are not Muslim? How come ALLAH doesn't make everyone Muslim then, if that is the case? I read in Qu'ran and I tried to see if this is what it really means. I came across several lines that said if the people of the scriptures do righteous deed they shall have their reward. I asked my husband because I was very upset over this. I told if this is the case then I don't want to be a Muslim because I thought ALLAH was fair despite what religion you are. He made it simple for me yet again 1) There are people in this world who will not have the message of Islam delivered to them and they will live their lives in ignorance. Will ALLAH punish them? No because they simply did not know about Islam. 2) No one has the right to judge another about where he/she is going when they die. Only ALLAH knows and only ALLAH can judge and that is universal on all believers. By believers, that is those who follow the scriptures. So, no one has the right to say anyone is going to Paradise or Hell because they simply do not know. This eased my mind a lot. I do not want to be told my family will go to Hell. It is no ones place to say that. And if any of you sisters want to talk to a new revert or someone interested in reverting do not discuss this idea with them in this way. It can put them off Islam for good and it is not the best way to discuss the topic. In stead one should say that it is our duty to spread dawah. Not to say your family will go to Hell because they are not Muslim. This is a very horrendous thing to say to anyone.

These were my biggest tests in my first two years and the last one in particular nearly made me change my mind and revert back to my old life. You have to understand that there is a proper way of talking to reverts. This was is not one. It can scare them, it can make them wonder what they have done and what have they entered. When you talk to new reverts you have to be gentle. You have to bear in mind the big, massive steps they have taken to change their lives and that their families are still very important to them and more than likely do not understand the path they have chosen. But this does not give you the right to slate their families and make them feel bad. So one piece of advice here is always be careful with your wording and what you say. It can really make an impact on a reverts life, whether it be a good impact or a bad one.

I hope this has enlightened some of you into knowing how to deal with a new revert or someone interested in Islam and helps you to understand just how enormous and life changing this decision is. And just how difficult it can be especially when one is alone to deal with it all.

Next time I will speak about my decision to wear Hijab and why I found it so important early on.

Reverting to Islam - My Story

I was a party girl. I lived for Friday and Saturday nights. I had done since I left home at 18. When I lived at home my parents were quite strict. We had to concentrate on our school work and not get involved with boys. So I didn't. Of course I rebelled a few times but in general stuck to the rules. They were right in the long run but that's a different story.

By the time I was 18, I wanted freedom. I wanted to let my hair down, as we say in English, I wanted to have fun. I deliberately applied for universities that were away from home. Not too far away so I could still go home everyone once in a while, but far enough away that I could start my own life. I couldn't wait. I was really excited. So I left home at 18 to go to university in Salford near Manchester. I have to say, it was a wonderful time and I have many experiences that I don't regret. The biggest was being able to live and work in Germany for a year. That was wonderful.

I finished my degree in 2002 and I wanted to move down south to be nearer to some friends I had met down there. So I moved to London and started work in London. In 2003 I moved outside London but still worked in London. We worked hard, we played quite hard with very little money that we had left over. I would pay my rent, bills, my loan off from uni, food and my travel expenses and would have very little left. That very little left would go on Friday or Saturday nights. It meant living off the bare essentials just to go out. Sometimes I would have just 20 GBP to live off for the week but would save it just to go out on Friday and Saturday night. This was life for about 3 years.

In 2004 I started working at a company where we used to speak to engineers from Cairo on a regular basis. We were the customer service team, they were the technical support. At first they were just colleagues from another country. I had no interest in them or what they were doing or what they believed in. I never even asked. It was something that just didn't come up. That was until Ramadan 2004. I found an engineer coming to me on the messenger service we had at work saying he will leave soon as it is time to have breakfast. This was late afternoon. So I innocently asked, why on earth are you having breakfast so late?? He then explained it was Ramadan and it was time to break their fast. So of course the questions came, why do you fast, why can't you even drink water, how is that not dangerous? etc... etc... Anyway, after he answered, I thought nothing else of it and just carried on with my life as it was.

I then started speaking to some other engineers and Islam started to come up. I was quite interested but at this time never dreamed it would be for me. I was still enjoying the party life. Anyway, I remember thinking, wow, they are so into what they believe in. It amazed me really because I had never given religion a second thought. I believed in God. That was it. I never went to church, I didn't want to go to church. I think I have been to church about 4 times in my whole life. I love History so I did not believe Jesus was born in December. More than likely he was born in September from an historian point of view. I just didn't buy into it. However, what I did believe was there must be something better than life on Earth after we die, I just didn't know what. I also wasn't convinced Jesus was the Son of God. I remember going to watch the Passion of Christ in Easter 2004, before I started work with my Egyptian colleagues, and telling my mam, I don't think Jesus was the Son of God. She just looked at me and said I don't know.

At work, I was getting quite interested in what my colleagues were telling me. I of course tried to debate from what little I knew about Christianity so it prompted me to go and do a bit of research into what was supposed to be my own religion. I tried to get into it. I just couldn't. Many things didn't add up and I felt if I am supposed to get into a religion, it should be something I feel with my heart. I couldn't quite understand why we celebrated Christmas in December if Jesus was supposed to be born in September. I did realize that the Romans changed this once Jesus had died to coincide with the Pagan festival of "Mid Winter". I then started thinking what about Easter. If Jesus died on a certain day, it would remain the same day every year that has passed, so why does Easter get changed every year. I then realized the Romans changed this as well to coincide with the first new moon and then Easter would be 40 days after that. I found that all a bit bizarre. Why manipulate something and change the facts? I still wasn't this into Islam at this point. I just started to believe that my own religion had many flaws. I continued debating with them. Two things came to mine, 1) why do you oppress your women and make them feel like they have to wear a million clothes and cover their hair and sometimes their face? 2) Why do you keep saying Christians believe in a different God? As far as I am concerned there is only one God. (I didn't realise at this time, that what I had believed was the main foundation of Islam).

I slowly started to become more interested in Islam from the numerous debates and decided I will read a few books. Not to convert but to argue my point ;-). I felt I couldn't possibly be so strict like Muslims are. I wouldn't be able to stop drinking alcohol, not go out, cover myself up from head to toe etc... It just felt alien to me that people can live like that.

So I read, and then read some more, and then read some more. I started to think this religion is far from how the media describe it! The Western Media do tend to make the westerners feel like Islam is a very oppressive religion and that the women have no rights especially after 9/11.

I came across something that would change my life forever. I was reading a book called "A Brief Illustrated Guide To Understanding Islam" by I. A. Ibrahim and in it was an explanation of The Qu'ran on Human Embryonic Development. " We created man from an extract of clay. Then We made him as a drop in a place of settlement, firmly fixed. Then We made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and blood clot), then We made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed substance)"... Qu'ran, 23:12-14. It then shows diagrams of how each part looks. I was astounded! How can this have been known back then when there were no sonars available and from a man who could not read or write?! This changed my life forever. It gave me goosebumps! From this piece, I knew Islam was the right religion. Once I knew it, I was content inside. I asked one of my colleagues in Cairo, what should I do now and I made my shahadah.

It took me some time to adapt and I was alone in London without anyone. I didn't know any Muslims in London. I just had to read and rely on my colleagues in Cairo. One turned out to become my husband.

I look back now at this time and can clearly see the path unfolding, which I didn't see at the time. I even look back to the way I was raised and if I compare to how Muslims raise their children, it is quite similar. We were not encouraged to have boyfriends, we were not allowed to wear revealing clothes, we were not allowed to do whatever we pleased whenever we pleased. We were told to focus on our school to achieve our dreams. So although my parents are not Muslim, some aspects of how they raised us were, but they had no clue nor I.

This is the start of my journey. Next time I will discuss the first two years of being a Muslim and why I nearly converted back.

Welcome; Assalamu Alaikum

Welcome To My Blog

This is a blog solely for sisters of Islam. In particular reverts. I, myself, am a revert and have been for 7 and a half years. 

I want to meet sisters like me so that we can share our experiences, ask for advice for those more knowledgeable, help those who have just started their journey and share our own journeys with everyone.

This is not exclusive to reverts. I would like "born Muslims" to also join in and read and share their stories, advice and experiences. 

Everyone has a journey, even those born into Islam, and sometimes it helps us reverts to understand that not everyone is born praying and knowing so much about Islam. 

I want this blog to help those who have just started their journey, help those who have been in our journey for some time but still need guidance and advice as well as letting those who are born Muslim to understand the pressures and the trials that occur when we take the step to revert. 

We are sisters of this wonderful religion so we should be united and help each other. In order for this to happen, I will need your stories and your experiences. 

Next blog I will share with you my story. This is just a welcome for now to make you aware that a blog exists so that we can all unite as one.

Assalamu Alaikum for now; until next time when I share my story.